Divine appointment @ Rs. 80 + service charges

About his pilgrimage experience to the Amarnath cave, Swami Vivekananda once said, "I thought the ice lingam was Shiva himself and there were no thievish Brahmins, no trade, nothing wrong. It was all worship. I have never seen anything so beautiful, so inspiring and enjoyed any religious place so much."

A lot of other big places of worship in India still reek of corruption at all levels, starting from special darshans to bribing officials, priests, and what not.

Recently, I'd been to the the temple of Kanya Kumari (Cape Comorin) that possibly is a few hundred meters from the rocky island on which Swami Vivekananda meditated. Vivekenanda rock, with waves of three major oceans/seas caressing its periphery, is still a charm. I first visited the rock some 20 odd years ago, and my memories from those days more or less matched my current experience. Pretty good.

The Kanya Kumari temple visit was a disaster. There was a long queue to start with. We saw that special darshan tickets were on offer at Rs. 50 or 100 per head. Though not a great fan of darshans, I thought, hmmm, let's get done with this quickly. As soon as we moved away from the main queue, a temple official approached us and told that special darshan tickets alone will take us only so far. We have to pay him 100 bucks extra, per head, so that things can move like a tsunami inside the temple. A cop was overhearing this conversation, and pretended that he was hearing nothing. (Yeah, slap me, for thinking a cop would...)

Disgusted, I told my dad, let's go with the main queue, which now looked like it was making some progress. My bad. After we got sucked into the main queue, it stopped. For half an hour. I was thinking this is impossible. But the solution soon presented itself. Agents appeared offering to rescue us from the hardship, if we paid the special fees and a discounted rate of 50 per head as dakshina ("sweat equity" for the lack of a better translation). Now this line is formed around the temple, with iron grills on one side and the wall on the other. I realized that we had become a captive audience -with no means of escape - for these fellows. We declined, as the line started moving again.

Another 50 meters of movement, and another painful halt. For 10, 20 minutes. We decided, enough was enough, and broke our chains of bondage, as soon as we saw an opening in the iron grills. Walked out like free men and women. While walking out, one of the agents we met earlier appeared again with a discounted fare of Rs. 20 dakshina per head plus special tickets. I was pissed at the whole affair, but it's a family affair, and one or two of us was against the idea of walking out of a temple totally. I went in.

Thanks to our guide, we sidestepped the 10 minute queue for special tickets, and procured those in 2 minutes. Normal - good service, I thought. Not bad for 20 bucks per head.

And then the queue for darshan remained, which may take another 15 minutes. Our guide pulled me back as I was walking towards it, and pointed in the opposite direction - toward the exit from the sanctum sanctorum or the garbhagriha.

I was like, dude we want to go in. And he was like, listen dude, I know a better way. Now the exit from the sanctum sanctorum at the Kanya Kumari temple is a small one. The door is too short. People kind of crouch to get out, and we could see a lot of them making their way out. Our guide jumps in, stops the flow, pushes us in, against the flow of temple traffic, and in 3 minutes me and my family are standing in front of the deity. I don't know what I prayed. I didn't think I did pray at all.

And in 3 or 4 minutes, we came out the same way we went in. Like food that goes in through the rectum and comes out the same way. Disgusting quick s#@$. And we purchased it for 80 bucks for the four of us adults and a kid + the special ticket fare.

Gods must have fled these places of worship a long time ago.

I think sometimes it's better to be an atheist who believes in god.

And his hands would plait the priest's entrails,
For want of a rope, to strangle kings.
-Denis Diderot

To the dogs? NO

Have you read stuff about MNS SS and all the rest about Mumbai? Well I have, and I feel -bad- about it. Here's my life:

2000-2001
I was in Mumbai for some time - close to two years in the early 2000s. I did not know Marathi and did not make any attempt to learn. I worked for a few months with an NGO for a slum sanitation project which required me to interact with locals. I managed. The few phrases that I caught from my friends were stuff like "ikde basna" and "sandaz".

2002-2005
I was in Kerala. No language issues. Forget language - nothing is an issue in Kerala. Strikes, harthals, farmer suicides..nothing. The only issues that Keralites worry about are American intervention in Middle East, Fidel Castro's health, Idea star singer, or whether kids would get into Engineering or Medical colleges.

2005-3 months I forgot when
I was in Dubai. I did not learn Arabic, but my Iranian boss -Behzad Zadeghi- took good care of me. I just got nostalgic and flew back to India.

2005-Present
I'm in Bangalore for so long. I do not know Kannada, except the odd "eshtu" and "gotha". I feel poor in native vocab, but it's ok. My wife knows Kannada, and I tell everyone about my backup. She is from Kerala but she did pick it up big time.

As for me, I plan to learn German. Why? Because I feel like. That's freedom. We gained it in 1947 the last time I checked. But these days, I feel stiffled. Afraid to voice my opinion. Worried about parties, about goons. An average Indian has lots to be worried about. If the global knowledge economy collapse, and if I had no other go, and I have to go to Mumbai tomorrow, and wants to become a driver (I did learn driving last year), what will become of me?

1998-till I die
I travel every year in what was UP then, Uttaranchal later, and now Uttarakhand. I can speak good Hindi, but I do manage with the Pahadis and the villagers of Mana - the last Indian settlement. I speak words of Malayalam and all of us have a good laugh. I love my land.

When I was living in Mumbai with bunch of friends, Balan used to repeat all the time "Mumbai, the city of dreams, the city of hopes."

Today Mumbai calls for aid. Will India answer? The real slim shadys have stood up? Will we speak up and deliver?

To the bloody dogs

Just read this. The url gives it away.

http://news.rediff.com/report/2009/dec/21/ex-dgp-gets-6-month-jail-term-for-molesting-14-yr-old.htm

Is there justice in our land?

To the Dogs

Source PTI:
[The helicopter, which ferried AICC General Secretary Digvijay Singh here today, was attacked by a mob after they came to know that actress Nagma who was to accompany the Congress leader for a road show did not turn up. SDO Sadar Sanjay Singh said a large crowd was waiting at the helipad to see Nagma and when they did not find her they hurled slippers and stones at the helicopter. The pilot left with the helicopter on safety grounds, but returned an hour later to pick up Singh.]

Sole comment: Next time, try Russian or Egyptian belly dancers. Lower cost, more bang for the buck. Call it "navel arbitrage" if you please.