Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Chro: Jan 13, 2008

Doc, do you know what pain is?

D: Hmm, it depends. Mental or physical?

Mental, the searing unbearable type, if we can discount all the physical harassment you give me in the name of treatment.

D: Haha. Sure pal, everyone feels it. If you ask me, I feel it all the time. But what I think is, and I could be wrong here, but....our minds are designed to take a healthy dose of real pain.

Mine isn't, which is why I ended up in your custody. And, what I'm talking about is THE real pain that comes from a feeling of helplessness. Guilt, which you cannot clear, which you cannot correct. The only way would be to go back in time.

D: Hmm. I guess that's not an option you're considering?

Nope, not yet. But...don't you think it's sad that life does not come with a Ctrl Z option? I mean, how can you live with that single formatting error you made that you cannot correct.

D: Wait a minute. Did you kill someone?


D: Rape?


D: Did you bully the new nurse?


D: Pillage? Plunder? Destroy?

No, no, no! Mine is emotional, not a flesh wound, so to speak. That said, no matter how much you scream from the rooftops, the person at the receiving end of your lack of judgment would not buy it. And that's when you feel the real pain.

D: I don't buy that.

Buy what?

D: That part about the person at the receiving end.

Why not?

D: Now, if that person really is a friend, someone for whom you mean something or the other way around, he or she would get it.


D: Yeah, really.

You mean I got all worked up for that?

D: Yes you did.

Goddammit! Guess I added a lot of sad pus to a bad wound.

D: Something like that. And, by the way, in about 5 minutes, you're gonna get another injection. It would make you feel better.

Now is not a good time to talk about real physical pain, is it?

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